First, technically she’s not my mother-in-law because her son Charlie and I aren’t married. But he and I have been together for more than 20 years and she is absolutely family to me so I consider her my mom-in-law.
Her husband (my dad-in-law) passed away last August and her declining physical and cognitive function have led us to find an assisted living facility near us for her to live in.
When Charlie and his brothers made that decision, they discussed how and when to approach her with this news. They weren’t sure if telling her right away was best or if waiting until just before the move would be better. Charlie asked for my suggestions (it’s always wise to ask a Projector for suggestions!).
I consulted her Human Design chart.
She is a 4/1 Profile, called the Opportunist Investigator. Both parts of her Profile–the 4 and the 1–are foundational which means they are fixed and they like stability and predictability.
The 4 (called the 4th Line) likes to get to the foundation of relationships, likes to establish a basic bond of friendship and connection first, and likes to move from one known and stable relationship to the next known and stable relationship. Fourth Lines don’t like the limbo space between relationships and they are uncomfortable without stability in their lives.
The 1 (called the 1st Line) is investigative by nature. They like a foundation of data about something before they try anything new. And they can feel very insecure without that informational foundation.
So my suggestions for Charlie were simple and clear: tell her as soon as possible, repeat it often (because of her short-term memory challenges), and give her as much information and as many photos as possible before she gets there.
As we discussed it, Charlie commented that his mom had always said “no” when approached with anything new. After some time she usually warmed up to an idea or plan, but her initial reaction to anything new had always been “no.”
Totally consistent with her Profile.
We knew she wouldn’t love the move to assisted living, but giving her time to get used to the idea and learn more about it before it happened was definitely the most loving and compassionate way we could let her know about it.