Article: Do You Need Permission to Love Yourself? 

by Evelyn Levenson

Do you usually feel good about yourself, or is it a rare occurrence?  Is Self-Love part of your life experience?

What would it take to give yourself permission to actually, truly, fully love yourself? Unconditionally.

I really want you to think about that. What stops you?

Are you your own worst critic?

Do you beat yourself up when you don’t live up to your own expectations?

Are your standards so high that no one could meet them consistently?

Does that simply give you an excuse to keep beating yourself up?

Or do you let yourself off the hook somewhat, but still feel like a failure?

Is that pathway of self-flagellation so well-worn in your neural synapses that it’s harder and harder to treat yourself well?

(Can you tell that I’ve been down those pathways, too?)

Isn’t it amazing that most of us don’t truly love and cherish ourselves… and that we need to consciously give ourselves permission to feel good about ourselves!

I’m not exactly sure why this is so, but I suspect it’s a combination of cultural and religious standards and beliefs.

But I’m not so interested in WHY. I’m more interested in WHAT WE DO NOW.

I can give you a simple 4-step process (see below) to get you to Self-Love, but I can’t give you the personal permission you may need to actually allow yourself to go there. Only you can do that.

But here’s what I CAN do. I can give you MY permission (and encouragement) to go there. If you won’t give yourself permission, then use mine!

Here’s why it’s so important. This is what I’ve learned about the truth of who we are as human beings:

We are ALL born lovable, valuable, and worthy. And we are born to love, value, and cherish ourselves and each other.

There is NOTHING you need to do to prove yourself. Not to others. Not to yourself. The deep soul-level of your being knows this.

Just being alive means that we are worthy of being here (or else we wouldn’t be here!).

Self-Love (or the absence of it) is the foundation on which the rest of our lives and relationships are built.

A foundation built on Self-Love is strong, resilient, and has healthy love to share with others.

A foundation built on the absence of Self-Love is painful, miserable, not resilient, and has no real love to give others.

And here’s the BEST PART:  we can shift at any moment and begin to love and accept ourselves more. It’s really just a thought away.

Giving yourself permission is nothing more than a thought. And you are inherently capable of thinking that thought!

Here is a simple 4-step process to help get you to Self-Love. It can take a day, or it can take years. But it doesn’t matter because being on this path feels good and moves you toward truly loving yourself. So take as much time as you need.

Step 1:  Know yourself. Self-knowledge is your most powerful asset. Human Design is the most brilliant tool I know to help you with this. When you understand the actual energetic dynamics that comprise YOU, it takes the guesswork, the uncertainty, and the self-doubt right out of your picture.

Step 2:  Accept yourself. Once you really KNOW Who You Are, you’ll find that you gradually accept yourself and start to make choices that enhance and align with the unique magnificence of YOU.

Step 3:  Respect yourself. Accepting is one thing, but respecting and honoring is another. It is truly the next step. And it’s only possible by accepting yourself FIRST. Then, respecting yourself follows naturally.

Step 4:  Love yourself. Once you truly respect and feel good about yourself, Self-Love will follow easily. It’s a process that continues to deepen and evolve for the rest of your life. Self-Love is not an finite end goal, it’s a way of being. It’s a life of richness, fullness, inner peace, and outer joy.

And it DOESN’T depend on your circumstances. You can be in situations you don’t like and didn’t choose. You can be in dire circumstances, financially and otherwise. You can be miserably unhappy about what’s happening… but you can STILL LOVE YOURSELF.

Self-Love does NOT depend on circumstances. So wherever you are right this minute, you can begin to love yourself more.

Pick something you really like about yourself. Anything. Take a moment to deliberately feel good about yourself for it. There. You’re on your way. If you do that at least once a day, you’ll build momentum and self-respect that will lift you up and help you shift your circumstances. It might look like magic from the outside when things begin to change but it’s really just the leveraging of energy.

Here is permission from me:

I, Evelyn Levenson, give YOU explicit, personal, and irrevocable permission to feel good about yourself. Right now. Go forth and start loving yourself!

Here is permission from you:

I, [your name], give MYSELF explicit, personal, and irrevocable permission to feel good about myself. Right now. I now go forth and start loving myself!


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  1. oh my evelyn…venus must be blessing you with loving value and worth.,,, thank you so much…
    I listened to your d.trump h.d. and that did the trick,,beautifully and elegantly nonbiased!!!!and it so helped me knowing his chart and tribal lineage,
    to help me integrate my own chart..
    as an emotional manifesting generator with sun 36.4
    and earth 6.4…lol lol…I get it!!!!!..I really do push my human experience !!
    and Im married to an aquarius with 59 and I carry gate 6,, so there were a few gates of similarity that your explanation really helped.My Nodes are 11 and 12,,I seriously thank you..seems like its been a dark night of the soul the last few years ..and this is the regeneration,,
    I would really love to work with you with my astrology and your cocreators and scientists/mystics healers…(in my dreams,,,remember I want to experience everything this lifetime!!)..and Im 69 now,,,

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