Does it STILL feel like your life and your decisions aren’t COMPLETELY your own? Maybe you’re a great parent, run a successful business, have wonderful relationships, or have achieved significant accomplishments in your life… yet sometimes you still can’t/won’t/don’t follow your true heart and soul’s calling. You’re not fully living YOUR Authentic Life.
Ever wondered why? Partly it may be out of your consideration for others, feeling that their needs and desires come first. But there is likely something else bigger and deeper going on.
The best explanation and understanding of this phenomenon that I’ve ever found comes from Human Design. It’s a process called Conditioning. Right now is the best time to understand how this process affects each of us and what we can do about it.
What is Conditioning?
We are conditioned by the energies and expectations of people around us, especially those people we are closest to or spend the most time with. There is also a certain amount of conditioning we take in from the “norms” of our society at large and the communities we participate in.
So conditioning is an outside influence, which is very often NOT in alignment with our personal, internal truth and energy configuration. Our conditioning distracts us from being true to ourselves and to what is inherently correct for us.
For example, our society in the U.S. during the last century or two has placed strong value on “go out and manifest your destiny” and if you have setbacks “pull yourself up by your own bootstraps.” But people who are Projectors (one of five fundamental energy Types, comprising approx. 20% of the population) are simply not wired energetically to do things that way. Their “design” is not compatible with those dominant values and expectations.
This results in Projectors pushing themselves too hard, having unrealistic expectations of themselves, feeling like failures, sometimes disappointing the people around them, etc. That conditioning is not aligned with the best way for Projectors to operate in the world.
What is Deconditioning?
Deconditioning is the process of stepping into your own power and living your life according to what is specifically correct for YOU rather than being influenced by and trying to fulfill the expectations of others.
Some of us stumble into an experience of this from time to time, but learning about your Human Design sets your deconditioning process in motion in a tangible way. First, you learn the decision making strategy specifically correct for YOUR energy—which allows you to take actions in alignment with your Authentic Self.
Second, where you have Open (white) shapes and bars on your Human Design chart is where you are most easily conditioned. When you know what your specific Openness means (best done through a private Reading, though you can learn some from books and courses), you can consciously choose to not be swayed by those influences and to use your correct decision making strategy instead.
It takes time to shift the conditioned behavior patterns of a lifetime. Human Design teaches that it takes about seven years to complete the transition and fully live from who you truly are… a result well worth the time. Plus, you experience improvements in your life all along the way during this process.
Look at this Past Year for Evidence
Now is a great time to take stock of the last 12 months of your life and identify key points when you followed your instincts, when your actions felt aligned with who you are, and when you were following your Type’s Strategy (if you already knew it).
Also pinpoint times when you didn’t “trust your gut” and you took actions that did not feel truly correct for you, but you did them anyway. What were the results in each case?
My clients find it useful to recall the body sensations that were present in each type of situation. Those sensations (for example, feeling light, tingly or drawn forward vs. feeling heavy, tight or repelled) are great indicators of your relative alignment with your own energy. Recall those sensations as vividly as possible, then use them as guidance as you move forward with your life.
How to Accelerate Your Own Deconditioning
The simplest way to do this is to consciously and consistently apply the decision making and action taking Strategy that is correct for you. So, get your Human Design chart and learn all you can about your Type and your Strategy. Then, practice, practice, practice. It may not be “easy” at first. That’s okay. Keep working with it. Keep observing what happens and keep honing your awareness. For most people it actually feels like a tremendous relief and feels fundamentally correct. You will finally be in true alignment with yourself and on your way to fully living YOUR Authentic Life!
P.S. It may seem “selfish” at first, to do what is correct for YOU. But it actually isn’t. The best you can do for those around you is to be in true alignment with yourself. You’ll have far more to give than when you’re out of alignment. And, you’ll be setting a great example of being Authentic and fully expressing the best of you!