In Part 1 of this article, we looked at the rich and “delicious” emotional experience we are capable of as human beings. And while our deep emotions often enhance the bonds we feel with others, emotions also can negatively affect our relationships by potentially adding stress and emotional wounds to the already complex realm of how we interact with each other.
The place to begin when exploring the emotional dynamics of our relationships is to first understand ourselves. Our last article encouraged you to examine your personal Human Design chart and determine if you have a “Defined Emotional Center” or an “Open Emotional Center.” Click here to read Part 1 of this article if you haven’t yet, as you’ll need its information for the rest of this article.)
The Emotional Center (called the Solar Plexus in Human Design) governs the ups and downs of the wave-like patterns in our emotional energy. Those who have a Defined Emotional Center (it’s colored in) experience and broadcast emotional waves. Those who have an Open Emotional Center (it’s white) take in and amplify the emotional waves of those broadcasting the waves.
That information alone can explain so much about your experiences in life and the dynamics of your past and present relationships!
How Our Energies Affect Our Relationships
In any type of relationship, two people’s energies always influence each other. The details of this can be seen by looking at their Human Design charts and creating a “composite” chart that blends their two charts together (which can be done manually or with special software).
The Open energies (white geometrical “Centers”) in our charts create predictable issues and behavior patterns that can be addressed and managed through awareness—both individually and in our relationships.
The bottom line is… any relationship can work—with the correct understanding of the energetic dynamics, and a little patience!
Now, let’s look at the specific role of powerful Emotional Energy in our personal relationships.
Emotions in Relationships Can Be Passionate and Volatile
Although emotions are just one piece in the bigger puzzle of our personal relationships, they are undoubtedly the most dramatic (pun intended)!
The passions and creativity of our emotionally defined partners bring richness, depth, romance and juiciness to our relationships. However, these same partners can seem moody, depressed, edgy, or even listless at times.
How can you best cope with emotional energy, whether it’s your own or your partner’s?
Here is a quick training for managing the Emotional Energy within our relationships—whether the other person is your spouse, lover, child, parent, sibling, friend, business partner, boss or coworker.
When One Person is Emotionally Open and the Other is Emotionally Defined
This is perhaps the most challenging combination—especially without awareness of the energy dynamics at work. But this also has the yummiest potential for romance and passion (or for a dynamic bond, if platonic).
The person with the Defined Emotional Center will experience emotional highs and lows in a cyclical wave-like pattern. Some people will have short waves (a few days) that aren’t very high or very low. Some will have dramatic highs and lows. Some have medium length waves (weeks or months) and some have long waves of a year or more. Each emotionally defined person is different and will have their unique wave, though the basic nature of their wave will be shown in their chart.
The person with the Open Emotional Center will take in and amplify the other person’s emotional wave. This person does not have consistent emotional energy of their own. When left alone and completely out of other people’s auras, this person will be relatively even-keel emotionally.
But this person’s openness will cause them to feel their partner’s emotions more intensely than their partner feels them! People with an Open Emotional Center are truly empathic… they take in and feel other people’s feelings.
This dynamic can lead to much misunderstanding between the two people and, potentially, much emotional pain for the Open Emotional Center person.
The best way to manage this dynamic is to understand each other’s design and be respectful of each person’s needs and tendencies.
- Allow the Emotionally Defined person to have their ups and downs, and don’t take it personally.
- Support the Emotionally Open person in “being a screen, not a sponge” which they can do by letting the emotionally energy flow through them without holding on to it.
- Encourage the Emotionally Open person to speak their truth and handle conflict in a direct and healthy manner—rather than allowing their predictable pattern of always trying to keep everyone happy.
- When emotional energy escalates between them, the Emotionally Open person needs to get out of the aura of the Emotionally Defined person and release that emotional energy. It’s best to leave the room, go for a walk, and just be alone. Then they can come back together later and work out the issue without the emotional ‘charge.’
When Both People Are Emotionally Open
This combination is relatively easy to manage. Both will usually be mostly even-keel emotionally… unless they are taking in, amplifying, and acting out the emotional energy of Emotionally Defined people around them!
For their personal as well as relationship health, both people must learn to “be a screen, not a sponge” which they can do by letting emotionally energy flow through them without holding on to it.
When they’ve mastered that they will be able to speak their truth and handle conflict in a direct and healthy manner, without fear of emotional reactions from those around them.
If there is a spark of negative emotional energy that does escalate between these two emotionally open people, the best approach is to “break auric space” (get out of each other’s aura) and come back together only after they have discharged that emotional energy.
When Both People Are Emotionally Defined
This combination is also relatively easy to manage. Each person experiences their own unique emotional wave—sometimes up and sometimes down. These cycles are normal and natural for them. When they learn to embrace this cyclical process and not try to “figure out” or “fix” themselves when low on their wave, they will be easier to be around.
The key to making this combination work is mutual respect for wherever each person is on his or her emotional wave, and accepting occasional moodiness as part of the package.
A Vision for What is Possible in Relationships
It is through our relationships that we know ourselves best. Our openness (white connecting lines and white Centers) and our definition (colored connecting lines and Centers) are most intensely experienced through our interactions with others. The incomplete channels in our charts (called hanging Gates) are most felt when we connect with others who complete those channels.
Some people are designed to be closely bonded in relationships, and others not so much.
Human Design gives us the tools to know how to honor each other as Who We Are—our Authentic Selves, and to know how to love each other better.
Collectively, our growing awareness and consciousness—about ourselves and about our relationships—can serve to uplift all of humanity.
You are invited to share your awareness of and experiences with your own Emotional Center, whether Defined or Open, and how it plays out in your relationships in the comment box below!